On The Crack
by The Almighty Mahokins
Summary: Everyone's just having a bad day. Some writer was writing fanfiction about them again. A.K.A: Me. Let us watch as our entire host club acts crazy and like they have an empty space between their ears. CRACK FIC! Tamaki bashing. Sorry Tama lovers.


On The Crack

**Maho: Hey~ I'm back with a new story! :D I know I haven't been updating my stories for a long time, and I can assure you, I'm not dead. Yet. Anyways, I thought of this while I was, weirdly, cleaning up the bathroom. Awkward time for my mind to start working for once, ne? Well, hope you enjoy the story! Review and I'll love you forever! Maybe… ;D**

**Oh yeah, and don't take any of this seriously. I'm not even joking. Your brain will melt.**

_Summary: Everyone's just having a bad day. Some stupid writer was writing fanfiction about them again. A.K.A: Me. Let us watch as our entire host club acts crazy and like they have an empty space between their ears. CRACK FIC!_

_~Kyoya_

The light streamed into my bedroom through the grey curtains and onto my crumpled and creased bed sheets. "Ngh.." I mumbled groggily, turning to my alarm clock, which was beeping loudly.

_Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!_

_**8:52**_

"Shi-!" I cursed out loud, only to be censored by the annoying beeping. "Shut up." I grabbed the repulsive alarm clock and threw it at the wall. "HAH, that'll show you not to mess with ME; KYOYA OOTORI, YOU RETARDED ALARM CLOCK!" I yelled.

Then realized how stupid I was acting. I was yelling at an ALARM CLOCK. Because it was doing its job. Being retardedly annoying and slapping me out of my beauty sleep! Not that I wasn't already beautiful.

Moving on, I realized something important. "Why… How…. OMIGOD! NEE-SAN!" I screamed, staring at my hand, terrified. My sister rushed into the room, "What's the matter, Kyoya-san?" she looked panicked. I showed her my poor hand. "Why do I have so many wrinkles on my hand, dear god..? Am I that old already?" I screamed, flailing all around again.

She sighed. "Kyoya-san, why is it, that on every Sunday morning you act like a crazed girl on her period? Or more accurately, like a Tamaki?" And after insulting me and my manly pride, she left the room.

My stress level had gone up high… but I knew what to do. I grabbed some shaving cream from my bathroom and started to write on the wall with it. And before I knew it, I had finished and I was falling asleep. As my eyes closed, I caught a glimpse of what I'd written.

**TAMAKI IS A GAYTARD**

Well said me… well said.

~Haruhi

I awoke to see that it was _**9:15**_ in the morning and I was extremely tired. I don't mean the weak, teensy-weensy bit of being sleepy. I mean hardcore all-out extreme exhausted. As my eyes began to close, and another exciting dream of Hikaru came to my mind, my phone rang. "GARGHHHHHH!" I groaned angrily. Oh, and by exciting, I mean playing scrabble with a grapefruit.

"HELLO." I yelled into the phone. "Haruhi... my phone has too many buttons… you gotta come help me… oh yah, bring a polish dictionary… and uhh… some apple juice. The banana flavored kind… 'Kay?" Tamaki ordered through the phone.

"Oh sure…." I replied, groggy. "I'll send over my unicorn to pick you up… And I suggest you bring a rabid fangirl to tame it. 'Cause you know unicorns these days… always wanting to… uh… I forgot." He grumbled.

"EFFFF THAT!" I said into the phone angrily, yet groggily. "I'm flying there!" I shut my phone, and opened the window, grabbing my polish dictionary, some banana-flavored apple juice and a purple nail clipper. You never know when you might need one, don't 'cha think? I hopped out the window, only to fall flat on my face.

"Woah… I fly so fast…. I'm at Tamaki's toaster repair shop already?" I mumbled. But I soon saw, that there was nothing in front of me. Just gravel. Not a human in sight. Except for those ones over there… but they have faces and arms. They're probably not humans.

And with this… I realized.

I WAS A SURVIVOR.

Of something. I forgot what it was.


End file.
